What to Do When Your Spouse Dies

The first hours after your spouse dies are about taking care of yourself and your immediate family. If the death occurs at home with hospice, call the hospice nurse first — not 911. If the death is unexpected, call 911. The funeral home will transport the body once you are ready, and there is no legal requirement to rush this decision. Take the time you need to say goodbye.

Within the first 24 to 48 hours, you will need to begin making funeral or cremation arrangements. If your spouse left written wishes or had a pre-paid funeral plan, follow those instructions. If not, you will need to choose a funeral home. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, every funeral home must provide you an itemized price list over the phone or in person. The median cost of a funeral with burial in the United States is approximately $7,848, while direct cremation can cost as little as $1,000 to $3,000. Do not feel pressured to overspend — your love is not measured by the cost of the service.

During the first week, contact Social Security at 1-800-772-1213 to report the death and ask about survivor benefits. As a surviving spouse, you may be entitled to 100 percent of your deceased spouse's Social Security benefit if it is higher than your own. If you are caring for a child under 16, you may receive additional benefits. File a claim for any life insurance policies — employer group policies often provide one to two times the annual salary, and many people forget to check for these. Contact your spouse's employer to ask about a final paycheck, accrued vacation payout, pension survivor benefits, and COBRA health insurance continuation. You have 60 days to elect COBRA coverage, which can continue your health insurance for up to 18 months.

In the weeks that follow, focus on the legal and financial transition. If your spouse had a will, locate it and file it with the probate court in your county. You will need certified death certificates — order at least 10 to 12 copies, as every bank, insurer, and government agency will require one. Joint bank accounts remain accessible to you immediately, but sole accounts in your spouse's name will be frozen until you receive letters testamentary from the probate court. Do not pay your spouse's individual debts from your personal funds. In most states, debts belong to the estate, not to you personally, unless you were a joint account holder or cosigner.

Over the next several months, you will need to update property titles, vehicle registrations, and beneficiary designations on your own accounts. File a joint federal tax return for the year your spouse died — this is usually the most tax-advantageous option. Consider working with a fee-only financial planner to restructure your budget and investment strategy for a single-income household. Many surviving spouses find that the administrative work of settling an estate takes six months to a year, and that is completely normal. Be patient with yourself through this process.

As a surviving spouse, you typically have the strongest legal rights. In community property states, you automatically own half of marital assets. You may need to file for spousal elective share if the will is unfavorable. You have priority as executor/administrator.

Joint bank accounts remain accessible. You may be entitled to Social Security survivor benefits (up to 100% of deceased spouse's benefit). Life insurance proceeds go directly to named beneficiary. 401(k) spousal rollover options. File joint tax return for year of death.